Susan Remembers
by book.lover1123
Summary: Susan was a very modern, fashionable young lady who had traveled the world. She was a model of what London society had become after the War. But she hadn't always been. Once upon a time, she had been a Queen of Narnia. End of the Last Battle. Rated K because of mention of character deaths.


Susan made her way slowly down the train platform. She had been gone away from home for nearly three months touring Europe with her friend Elizabeth and her family. She had seen so many amazing sights. And, she thought with a smile, so many young men. She tossed her hair over her shoulder as she remembered their names and faces. Albert, from Marseilles, Gerald, from Bern and countless others. Elizabeth and she had giggled over them long into the night.

Susan frowned. She remembered giggling with another girl into the night about silly things, though not always about boys. She and Lucy used to talk about things all the time. But over the past few years, they had drifted further apart. Susan huffed in annoyance. It was all because of that silly game they used to play. Narnia. What had gotten into Lucy's head to convince her that it had really happened? Of course Narnia wasn't real. Just like the world wasn't flat.

But even while she denied the fact in her mind, Susan couldn't help but feel a stab of regret. She should have been nicer to Lucy, gone on playing with her for a while longer. She was only fourteen now. Perhaps two years ago she could have played with her again, just like old times.

_"I'm sorry I'm like that. We used to have fun, didn't we?" Susan smiled down at her sadly._

_ "Yeah, until you got boring!" Lucy replied with a smirk._

_ "Oh really?" A mischievous smile graced her lips as she splashed her younger sister with the spring water._

Susan stopped and shook her head. Where on earth had that come from? She looked up and saw an older woman staring at her worriedly. Susan tossed her head again and continued walking.

Well, now she was back, and Lucy's summer holiday was just beginning. She would spend more time with her, maybe even pretend a little, for Lu's sake. Yes, that's what she would do.

Thinking of Lucy started her thinking of her other siblings as well. Edmund had been unusually more mature the past year. He was only now hitting sixteen. Shouldn't he have been off running with boys his age, getting into trouble? She'd have to spend some time with him as well, see what was eating at him.

_"I've seen what the White Witch can do, and I've helped her do it. And we can't leave these people behind to suffer for it!" Edmund's young, but strong voice rang out._

Again she paused holding a hand to her head. What on earth was going on? A young man stepped forward, his hand outstretched to help her. She waved him off with her hand and a smile and continued walking. She silently scolded herself for neglecting her younger siblings. She suddenly began to feel guilty for running off to Europe when her kid brother and sister were just starting to grow up.

But she felt the worst about Peter. He'd always been trying to be a good older brother and look out for her. Several times she would find him, as well as her parents waiting up for her after she had gone out with some friends. Her parents scolding and threats she could handle, but there was something about Peter's disappointed gaze that she always felt sickeningly sorry for her actions. She had hated that he had that kind of power over her. Whenever it happened words were said that she always felt horrible for saying after, but she was too proud to ask his forgiveness.

_"This is all your fault!" Susan spat._

_ "My fault-!" Peter stared at her incredulously. _

_ "If you'd have listened to me in the first place none of this would've happened!"_

_ "Oh, so you knew this would happen?" He shot back giving a sarcastic laugh._

_ "I didn't know what would happen, which is why we should've left while we still could!"_

_ "STOP IT!" They both looked at Lucy, who was shivering with cold, but still held her head high. "This isn't going to help Edmund." She finished quietly._

Susan swayed, dizzy with the images in her head. She had yelled at Peter, charged him for being the one at fault, like so many times in the past two years. Tears sprung to her eyes. She quickened her pace, wanting to get to her siblings as soon as she could to apologize for all her behavior. She needed to see them.

By the Lion's Mane, she had made a mess of things.

Susan stopped short in her tracks. The Lion.

_"Aslan!" Susan and Lucy cried joyously as they hurried around the table to his side, burying their tear stained faces in his glorious mane._

_ The rumble of his laughter vibrated throughout his body, tickling the girls arms._

_ Susan finally pulled away, still doubtful and confused. "But we saw the knife! The witch-"_

_ Aslan hushed her with his eyes. "If the Witch knew the true meaning of sacrifice, she might have interpreted the Deep Magic a little differently, that if a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitors stead, the Stone Table would crack and death itself would turn backwards."_

This time Susan's tears had spilled down her cheeks. _Aslan! Oh Aslan!_

She had forgotten him, just as He had warned her of before she and Peter left Narnia for the last time. He had told her this would happen if she did not hold fast. How could she have forgotten him! He was her friend, her Savior! She felt sick at the thought, realizing that she had even forgotten who He was in this world as well. When was the last time she had knelt in prayer, or gone to church? She ran down the platform, barely stopping to grab the shoes that had fallen off her feet in her hurry to get home and beg all of their forgiveness.

_Oh Aslan! I'm so sorry! Please, please forgive me!_

She had almost reached the end when she heard an excruciatingly loud screech. She turned back, a pit forming in her stomach. She knew the sound, but she hoped beyond hope that it was not what she thought. Then suddenly, she felt a jerk and everything was white.

She blinked. Things started to come into focus.

_"My child, I have waited long for you to remember me."_

"Aslan?" Susan blinked again.

There before her stood the Great Lion Himself. His golden fur shone like the sun, radiating her with warmth. She was home. Safe. Protected.

But she knelt in guilt, sobbing before him. "Oh Aslan! I forgot you! You said I might, I'm so sorry! And Lucy, she tried to tell me! I stopped her though. I was such a fool! Can you ever forgive me Aslan?" She bowed her head even lower, ashamed to let her eyes meet his.

She watched his paws as they came closer and rested only inches from her knees. She felt his soft nose on her forehead. The moment he touched her she remembered everything, all the years she had spent as a queen, returning to England and then returning to Narnia again to help Caspian. Aslan speaking with her and Peter and their final return to England. Every memory flashed before her eyes.

Memories of how she treated her siblings met her view as well, times that she had wished to forget. The scoldings she had given them about believing in Narnia still. The arguments with Peter. Her attitude towards her parents. Guilt washed over her, making her hunch down even further, wishing she could crawl under a rock and hide from him.

_"These are things that you are ashamed of." _He didn't say it as a question, but a statement.

Susan could only nod her head, the tears choking in her throat.

_"Then give them to me. I will carry them for you."_

Susan looked up at him, disbelief written across her face. "You would do that? For me?"

He didn't need to speak. The words were in his eyes. He touched her forehead with his nose again. This time there came a feeling of peace. The peace that only Aslan could give. She let out a shuddering breath and raised her head to look into his eyes again. All the fears, and regrets melted away under his gaze. She felt lighter, and stronger, more comfortable with who she was for the first time in her life.

_"Peace, my daughter. All is forgiven. You have learned the last lesson in your world. Now is your time to rest."_

Susan didn't even need to think over his meaning. She knew that she was now dead in her world. "Have I come to stay in Narnia for good this time?" She asked, wanting a confirmation all the same.

_"Not the Narnia you knew dear Susan. That Narnia is no more. It has gone the way of all worlds."_

Susan looked around, the place she was in was beautiful, vibrant in color. She saw mountains in the distant, taller than any other she had ever seen. As she looked, her vision enhanced to the point where she saw a beautiful garden near the top of the mountains were people were talking and laughing. Beyond that, was another vast world, exactly like the one she stood in, only bigger, brighter. She laughed, a true, deep laugh that filled her soul with light.

"Is this your country Aslan?"

_"Yes gentle one. This is my country. This is where you belong. Come further up and further in!" _Aslan called as he bounded off towards the garden.

Susan clambered to her feet and began to run. She ran faster than she had ever run in her life. She actually kept up with Aslan's bounding strides. She laughed again, for no reason at all but to release the happiness that was building inside of her. She heard the low rumble of Aslan's chuckle beside her and she laughed even more.

In no time they were at the gates and Susan saw people she had come to love in her time at Narnia. She embraced them, never speaking, for no words were necessary. She found herself wandering out of the garden and to the world beyond the last one. In it she saw a sight she had never thought that she would see again. England. Her former home. She ran towards it, her sight improving as she went. She saw her parents beckoning to her. Happy tears sprung to her eyes as she raced forward and embraced them.

They cried, hugged and cried again, weeping with joy to see one another.

Then, looking back towards the New Narnia, she saw the three people she had been longing to see since she came here. She waved goodbye to her parents and made her way quickly to the three.

They were chatting happily with the professor, Ms. Plummer, her cousin Eustace and his friend Jill Pole. They were so engrossed with what they were talking of, they didn't hear or see her coming towards them. She found herself feeling shy in their presence, those who had remained faithful. Not unworthy, only humbled.

She felt Aslan's presence next to her again, giving her strength. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Susan!"

Her eyes flew open to see Lucy springing towards her, her arms open wide.

"You're here! You're here!"

Susan wrapped her arms around her sister, burying her face in the girl's hair. "Oh Lucy! I'm sorry I forgot!" She whispered.

"But you're here! Everything's fine now!" She exclaimed.

The others had gathered around her, smiling brightly and laughing. Lucy left her embrace, and Susan found herself being pulled into Edmund's.

"Ed. I should've been a better listener."

"You don't have to worry now! Aslan has made it right! He always does!"

Susan's tears rolled down her cheeks and Edmund brushed them away for her. She smiled her thanks.

She turned and saw Eustace and Jill. "I was such a horrid beast at that dinner when I first met Jill. I'm sorry you two."

"No hard feelings Su. I wasn't the nicest of cousins during my time either." Eustace said enthusiastically shaking her hand.

"I know what it's like having to not tell anyone about Narnia. I don't blame you for getting a little sour." Jill replied with a sparkle in her eye. Susan laughed and hugged the girl softly.

She turned to the oldest of the group, though, they all looked and felt to be the same age. "Dear Professor."

"Ah Susan. Does it still seem illogical to you?" He teased.

She laughed. "No, it seems like the most logical thing in the world!"

She shook their hands as well, and turned to the last person.

Her older brother stood waiting for her, knowing that their reunion would be last. She saw him now for what he looked like in the Golden Age of Narnia. His broad shoulders and strong arms, the ones that were always ready to protect and soothe her when she needed a brother's love. There they were open again, and stretched towards her.

She sobbed as she ran into them, throwing her arms around his neck. "Oh Peter!" She sobbed into his shoulder.

"All's forgiven Su."

"How can you all forgive me so easily?" She asked, not out of guilt, but true confusion.

"The same way Aslan has to all of us. There's no room for hurt or anger here. This is a place unlike any other. It's above the feelings we felt back on earth or even in Narnia. Love and joy seem to actually be in the air we breathe here."

"I want you to know, that I never meant those things."

"I know. I knew then."

"How?"

"Because that's what you would tell me in Narnia. After our fights, do you remember?"

Susan closed her eyes and laughed softly at the memory. "Yes."

"You said that you hated it every time you said hurtful things to me, and that you never meant to say them. They weren't true you said."

She looked into her brother's eyes and smiled. "Thank you." She glanced around at the rest of them. "All of you!"

"But Su, how did you come here so soon? It hasn't been that long in our old time has is Aslan?" Lucy asked.

"_No dear one. Your sister was on the same platform you were. She was caught in the train wreck as well."_

"You were there?! But-?" Edmund exclaimed.

"I was coming home early from Europe. Elizabeth's parents had to go on with her but they sent me back for the holidays."

"So you were the girl I saw crying! I thought it might be you, but I thought you were in France so thought it couldn't have been." Jill exclaimed.

"Why were you crying Su?" Lucy asked, concern seeping through her words.

Susan looked at Aslan, who smiled softly at her. "I finally remembered."


End file.
